Internalization

I perpetually live in the zone of internalization. I personally define internalization as: “My cave of solitude!!” Weird huh?

Ministry for me is a continual roller coaster ride of highs & lows. Within minutes of reading a story of victory, I may get a crisis call, and the world as I knew it changed. I experience births, re-births, near deaths, deaths, and so much more. Often times words cannot describe my emotions at any given time. Are you with me? I know it’s not just a pastor that experiences the highs and lows of life, but it’s my world, so tough! Ha, ha!

OK, perpetually internalized is probably not entirely true. If I lived in internalization too long, they would probably over medicate, and institutionalize me. Not interested!!! I do move from the cave to the road, and I do enjoy openness as well. In fact even as I write we have friends in town & I love the rich conversations of life I have with them. Openness is like a refreshing cool breeze to my soul, but for now let me just give you a few things that internalization has taught me.

#1 Slow Down- Yep, as I process life and reflect on it all internally. I’m always reminded that I must slow down at times. If nothing else, at least to stop and get gas. I almost ran out of it last night, so it’s vivid in my mind. Every car if it’s used regularly has to stop and gas up. Maybe one day, they’ll make cars that can gas up while moving, but until they invent “Carforce One”, I will be stopping to gas up every so often.

#2 Think Scenarios – Internalizing helps me to play through the different scenarios of current situations that I’m facing. Often times if I don’t internalize (go to my cave of solitude), I only see one portion of the current picture painted. The longer I stare at the picture, the more defined it becomes, and internalization even helps me to see things that I never would have, had I just taken one glance at the current picture/scenario.

#3 Communication Skills – The most interesting and vivid people I’ve ever met in life are those that have taken time to know themselves, think things through, realize they don’t have life & God all figured out, and have the ability to ask questions that lead to all kinds of thoughtful communication. What a blast it’s to me, to sit down and communicate with individuals that have thought past their cup of coffee every morning.

#4 What I study & read drives me – You tell me what you listen to, watch, read, etc….. and in 5 years I’ll tell you what you’ll become. Because what drives our mind, drives everything else. I’ve learned internally over the years, that if I’m feeling depressed, it’s often because of something, or someone I listened to. If I’m feeling happy, energetic and alive, it’s more often than not, because I postured myself in such a way to receive a positive injection. Positive injection comes to me through prayer, bible reading, books on motivation, or just plain meeting with somebody that is an eternal optimist. You won’t find me hanging with negative people, or I would probably hang myself. LOL!

#5 Don’t take myself to serious – I used to be the paralysis by analysis dude, because I never wanted to mess up. Because I thought if I messed up, it defined me. It doesn’t! My children have even taught me that messes can actually be fun at times. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want my life to be a mess all the time, but internalization has taught me to chill out, relax, laugh at myself & enjoy the ride. I take God very seriously, but not myself. I am who God created me to be & from what I’ve read, even the heroes of the faith throughout the generations didn’t have a stellar track record. I’ve learned over the years that when I get the hiccups, there’s nothing like a fresh drink of water to stop them. Oh, and my new drink of choice is vitamin water!!!

OK – I know what some of you psychologists are already thinking………go ahead……..let me have it……but I promise you this, whatever you say, will be taken to my internal cave & from there I’ll determine whether it’s worth taking to the road.