The Ugly Truth About Wives #3 – Jason Hirsch

Sorry for dragging my feet on this topic. Kid schedules are interesting, leaving me little margin, and making me laser targeted as far as tasks go. Here is my kids schedules.  I drop Hannah off at 6:45 a.m. every morning. Samuel at 7:45. Juilia and Gabe at 8:45. Pick-ups begin at 1:25 p.m.. Final drop off at 4:00 p.m.. Thank you Denny’s for picking Sam up in the afternoons.

Enough!

Here’s the main thought: There are no ugly wives, they are only reflections of their husbands ugly leadership, which produces ugly marriages.

The first 3 Ugly truths were: 1. The reason a wife may function in ugliness is: She is living in a marriage without affection. 2. The reason a wife may function in ugliness is: Her husband does not talk to her. 3. The reason a wife may function in ugliness is: She does not trust her husband totally.

Let me give you the final 2.

4.  The reason a wife may function in ugliness is:  She does not feel financially stable.

Many wives resent having to work.  Not all, but many I have counseled  over the years.

Quick thought: Most women do not marry men for money. But they do get married believing that their husband can financially support them. Right? Most men do not marry a woman thinking, “Boy I hope she can support me.” Right?

Are you financially stable? Let me give you some help that can at least point you in a right financial direction. Just a refresher!

PRACTICAL TIPS:

1. Develop a budget. A Budget helps you discover what a certain quality of life really costs. What do you need? What do you want? What can you afford?

2. Lower your standard of living.

3. Improve Job Skills. That may mean a wife goes back to work while her husband finishes his degree, or vice versa. Temporary solution!!

“When a husband and wife work together toward a common goal, their spheres of influence are much more likely to overlap, and their conversations will become more interesting to each other.” That can create great communication!!

Final thought on money:  “When it comes to money and marriage, less may be more.”

5.  The reason a wife may function in ugliness is: Her marriage does not have a strong family unit.

Most wives that I have worked with over the years want their husbands to take a leadership role in the family and commit themselves to the moral and educational development of their children.

Men your wife wants you to take major interest in your children’s development. If you do not men, your wife will probably look somewhere else for it. That is ugly!!

How do you strengthen your marriage and family unit?

PRACTICAL TIPS:

1. Develop quality family time. Not feeding, clothing, and watching over your children. It is for the purpose of teaching the children the value of cooperation and care for each other. Men, just like giving your wife 15 hours a week, you should consider giving your children 15 hours as well. Meals, walks, bike rides, church, family meetings, board games, sporting events, reading, financial planning, family projects.

Men, you give to what you value!  That is some more ugly truth!!

2. Train – Train – Train. Men, we typically need more training. You can learn the skills of parenting!! Read books (relational), taking classes, seminars. Everything from toilet training, to enforcing bedtimes. I have had to learn how to discipline my children properly.

Thoughts on training:

A.  Be consistent.  Do not base your discipline on mood.

B. Punish properly. Children whose parents never spank them often run wild. You punish to change the heart. You also reward to change the heart. I have been on a plane that could not take off because of an unruly 2 year old. I think mom was being more abusive to her child by not spanking him. Good grief!!

C.  Discipline in joint agreement with your wife.

Thought: Husbands, how you discipline your children greatly affects the deposits in your wives love bank.

D.  Learn how to interpret rules. Meaning?  Explain why you are making the decisions you are.

E.   Do not discipline in Anger. I have! Never a win!!

Last thought: I think “A great husband is a good father.” So take time to train, and spend time with your children. You will be glad you did!!

You may be wondering what I do with my children? I open bank accounts with them. Show them how to give, and manage their money. Read the bible daily to them. Pray with them in the morning, and before bed at night. I regularly bring my guitar into their rooms, and we worship together. Once a month, Daddy (to the younger ones), Dad (to the older ones), gets to go out one on one with me. I treat all my children fairly, but not all the same. I discipline them all differently. Why? Their molds are all different. What worked for one, often times does not work for the other.

I would love insight, and thoughts on this post.  Thanks!